Collection of thoughts

I am sitting here, trying to study for midterms, but it isn’t working out well. Instead of spending time scrolling through Facebook or constantly refreshing YouTube subscription hoping for a new video to satisfy my boredom (and refusal to start on work), maybe starting a blog channel to unleash the crazy mind will be a great idea.

It might be a futile attempt to recycle time but it should be worth the try. So here I am. Let’s get started.

I have been reflecting on University life for the past few days, although its not like I am about to graduate in less than a semester or so. In fact, this is just my second semester into my journey of getting a degree. A tad too early for this reflection phrase about university, so I guess this is more like a reflection on Freshmen Year then. Yes that sounds more like it.

Freshmen year has been a hell of a ride. Really. Whoever that said University is when life just started, you’ve got to be kidding me. Whatever happened to partying and staying up late? The version I got was intense intellectual conversations over meals, and staying up late studying.

Freshmen year started last august, so counting back, it’s been close to 7 months since I got into this. Albeit the amount of complains and misjudgment, it has been fulfilling. Facing different challenges everyday, be it social communication or responsibility as an adult, I found a different side of me that I never knew could handle this.

2 years ago, if there’s a presentation coming up during the week, I would spend the weekend constantly revising my script, making sure that I don’t miss out any words on that piece of paper.

Now? I waltz into the room and pray for the best.

Are you sure it’s not because you cared less?

Right, that’s a good observation.

However, it is not because I cared less. Rather, I realized that the best script won’t even get me far. I will spend time sweating away and chanting on those words, instead of making real life communications with the audience. So what if I missed a point, or phrase the words differently? The reassuring look and confidence makes up for it.

Every time I thought that was my limit, life proves me otherwise.

Leaving house and living in campus? How. What. Are you sure. Is there a point?

Yes. It’s not that scary. Don’t panic younger self. /laughs/

I used to regret a lot. Now I am just lucky that life has brought me to where I am.

The uncertainties still scares the soul out of me. And it really doesn’t help when my pillar of support is the squishy piece of soft meat in my head.

I will get by, I will come by. Somehow or another way, I will get ahead of myself.


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